mom crush ~ cymonda wilson

Name:  Cymonda Wilson

Stats: Wife, mother to 2 beautiful boys and full-time working mom as a Director of Marketing Strategy, Disney Channels Worldwide.

Why she's crush worthy:   Cymonda is a very real person who oozes with confidence and because of that she inspires other mothers to find the confidence within themselves to achieve great things in life.  Most recently, Cymonda has reached two milestones that proves to us moms that you should never lose sight of goals that are important to you.  She recently uprooted her family from Atlanta and relocated to Los Angeles for an amazing opportunity that has taken her career to the next level.  If that isn't inspirational enough, Cymonda has also recently lost over 75 pounds, which us moms know is tough to do between balancing work, marriage, kids, and life in general.

I can go on about how truly amazing she is, but here's a chance for you to see what I'm talking about.  Here are Cymonda's thoughts on....

Marriage

• True love means…being prepared to say you’re sorry again and again. 
• My husband makes marriage…harder at times, easier at others.  The whole men and women speaking different languages is something we are still working on 12 years later. 

• I encourage my husband to…express his authentic self when he has a complaint. 
• We work on... making time together as a family.  We usually do divide and conquer.  He takes one, I take the other or one person gets both.  Without family close, it’s hard to have regular breaks without having to pay for it.  But I really enjoy the time when we’re all together doing something, whether it’s at the park or going to see a movie.  
• My husband and I agree on….how to rear our children.  We both believe in family and the importance of education.  We’re not naïve about the societal pressures that our boys will face as black men and we want to arm them with advanced social and educational tools so that they are hopefully given a chance to show their true worth and not what society thinks of them.  
• Marriage is...always a work in progress and sometimes I want to quit.  I think once I got past the wedding planning and went through a few struggles; I started to mourn the loss of what a fairytale marriage was not.  There are fairytales moments but it’s work.  Everyday.  On myself, on the relationship.

Being a Mom

• It’s really important for me to show my sons that I…love them as much as I can because I don’t get but a few hours a night and work on the weekend to keep up the house, family affairs and still try to squeeze in a few hours for me.  I tell them often and what I love about them.  I hope it gives them a strong foundation and self esteem.  
• My boys constantly make me….crazy.  I have to check myself on a daily basis on how to keep my cool and not be the yelling mom.  
• I want to be known as the mom who…could hang with the boys.  I play football and basketball with them.  We wrestle but I also bake cookies with them and get their opinion on my outfits to show them I am still a girl and girls are multifaceted.  
• I would describe my parenting style as…attachment when they were born.  I wore them in slings and breastfed.  I worked at creating peace and a bond because I did have to work.  
• Everything I teach my sons, I learn from…my watching my mom and how she raised my brother who is an awesome husband and involved father.  I also read a lot and get ideas from my likeminded friends. 
• When I first became a mom, I quickly changed my views on...the concept of spoiling a baby by picking them up when they cry.  It’s total crap.  And I had no problem telling anyone that said that to me “this was my baby and it was my job to investigate each cry.”

Being a Full-Time Working Mom

• The biggest sacrifice I make by being a full-time working mom is…alone time.  I work on not feeling guilt even as I type these words that I didn’t say being around more for my kids, or staying home with them or even time with my husband.  I am close to 40 and I know what I need and I’m working on not being apologetic.  I’m better when I’m on my own list and not on the bottom of no one’s.  When you’re a mom…working in or outside the home someone always needs something from you.  It’s important to me to make sure I’m providing for myself too. 
• People always assume that working moms….just want more money and don’t want to raise their kids.  I actually enjoy my career and I’ve wanted a career as long as I’ve wanted to be married with kids.  I never thought I had to choose.  
• My work understands that...I need flexibility with my schedule.  I make myself accessible when I’m not in the office and technology really helps with that.  I remember that my life changed when I got a work blackberry.  
• It is possible to be a great mom and progress in your career by…remembering to honor your professional aspirations and keep a firm grip on my work/life balance.  There were times when I was climbing and times that I coasted.  
• My advice for new moms going back to work is…give yourself time to cry and be sad at what you’re missing.  Ask to be kept in the loop and have a good relationship with the caretaker so you can decide how to catch “the firsts”.  Also, get your husband involved with making the bottles, packing the diaper bag.  My husband is a great confident dad because he can do a lot on his own.  It’s not the way I do sometimes but it gets done and they are still alive!

Moving Her Family to LA for her job

• Since moving to LA, we’ve had to adjust to…cost of living and starting over with neighborhood friends. The boys are at the age where they need to have social stuff going on to keep them busy.  
• Some things LA can learn from the South are…sometimes people don’t want anything from you, they are just being kind.  
• You can take the girl out of Atlanta, but….you will never make me forget about grits! 
• The greatest thing I’ve learned so far from this experience is…our story is never done.  We’ve gone through a lot this year and started over in many ways but we’ve endured without huge amounts of suffering.  We’ve had a great amount of support through my company, old and new friends.  We’re apart of a community and Southern California is truly a beautiful place with tons of new experiences to offer our boys.  
• Even though it required a move across country, this opportunity was...the best professional decision I’ve made.  I am working for a leader in family entertainment and learning so much.  My kids get to benefit from my work in every way.  I also live 7-10 min from the office, which has lowered the stressful commute I endured in Atlanta for close to 15 years.  
• 
• Herself
• I make time for myself by…running or going to the grocery store.  No one questions when I have my shoes or my Vons card.  They know what time it is.  
• I am my biggest critic when it comes to…balancing “sweet mom” and “tough mom”.  I want my boys to be able to talk to me but also understand I am their parent.  They will be bigger than me one day. I want to be respected and not have to rely on yelling to get their attention.  With two small boys, they go in and out love and hate with one another and the bickering grates my nerves.  I try to discipline and teach them right but I always offer explanation and a hug.  

• I’m always pushing myself to…learn and grow.  And show more patience.  
• I aspire to be…the best woman I can be.  I am aware of my blind spots and gifts and want to leave this lifetime a better soul.  I want my kids to speak about me positively to their kids. 
• My biggest accomplishment to date (aside from having 2 beautiful sons) is…losing 78lbs.  I really didn’t get disciplined about getting off the baby weight until my health was in question.  My doctor gave me the reality check and losing my grandmother (who was my biggest cheerleader) inspired me to get my act together.  I have gained some back, but I am managing it too.  It’s definitely a lifestyle that I have to work at constantly and totally worth it because I found myself and I’m happier for sure.  

Cymonda is a great example of how moms should continue to put personal goals as a priority. As moms we get caught up in doing something for someone else, making our own goals lowest priority on the list. However, to be good moms we need to lead by example. To do so, that means putting our needs somewhere on the top of that list. Maybe not the first thing, but second or third place will do.