mom crush ~ kate berrio

This week's mom crush: Kate Berrio

Stats:  Wife to husband Andres, mother to Elias (4) and Noah (2), and full-time professional as a Program Manager at Google.

Why she's crush worthy:  Have you ever seen that movie with Sarah Jessica Parker called "I Don't Know How She Does It?" - Yup that pretty much sums Kate up in a nutshell.  Kate is one of those people that I admire because she makes this mom gig seem so doable.  And when I say mom gig, I'm not talking about just the parenting part, I mean everything that falls into that category.  While she is juggling everything in her life, she continuously aspires to develop her skills with things like becoming a certified yoga instructor.  Just seeing how effortlessly she makes doing it all is so motivating.

Here's what Kate had to say on...

Marriage

Date nights are... absolutely a necessity when you have 2 small children and work full time. I didn't realize this at first and was putting all of my effort into my kids and not necessarily my relationship with my husband. I thought back on some sage advice that an older friend gave me as I was about to get married; she told me that she and her husband put themselves first before all else, and at the center of the family. This made a lot of sense to me. We are the rock and foundation of our little clan-- and also the example that my boys will look to as they grow into young men. Also-- it's really nice to have a drink and eat dinner once in a while without chasing 2 little boys!

My husband is a wonderful father because... he balances me out very well. He is more firm with them than I am and I see that it works. I know that I baby them a bit too much at times-- and he always amazes me at how much credit he gives them; he just assumes they can do things! Because of him, they are learning to be much more independent and I have learned to follow his lead (at times. It's so hard to give up control!). 

Parenting

Having 2 boys makes me... a much more patient and forgiving person in all areas of my life- personal and professional. My job is demanding and people always comment on my ability to just take things in stride and not get rattled. I honestly think that this comes from being a Mom; my well of patience runs deeper now than it ever did before. 

After having my 1st child, I learned not to... focus on attaining perfection- but being present and making sure the "tally" at the end of each day was more or less in the "plus" column. I had an image of what I thought I would be as a Mom and I was crazy wrong, on most accounts. But what I have found is that giving up my ideal allowed me to just become who I am and be ok with that. I was spending a lot of energy on "perfect" when really, some (most) days you just need to make sure they are fed, clean and content. It's not about how many Pinterest projects you make, or the homemade organic baby food (I tried that for a bit), but it's about your relationship with yourself, and your babies-- and as long as it's genuine, then you're all good.

Working Full-Time

The thing that motivates me to progress in my career is... being a strong example for my kids. I want them to see that women can be successful at whatever they choose to do-- and can advance professionally and while being a strong presence at home at the same time. I also want them to know that they should follow their hearts and their passion; I recently took a risk in moving jobs within my company and it's turned out to be an amazing decision for my career, as well as for our family.

Thankfully my work allows me to... have some flexibility in my schedule. I have basically made the choice to weave personal and professional time together and happily do work from home when needed, or at odd hours. Folks who work with me know that the hours of 5-8 pm are sacred so that I can get my kids and do dinner, bath, stories and snuggles. Once the kids are down, I usually get back online and wrap up whatever needs to be done for the day. It's a lot, but it works for me and my team and manager are super supportive.

Friendship

My best friends understand that... even if we don't hang out or talk all the time, that we are good. My very best friends are the ones I can go a while without talking to and then get together with-- and it's like no time has passed at all. Most of my friends have kids now too- so we all sort of get it. If I am being truly honest though, this is an area that I want to focus on now that the kids aren't so teeny. 2 small children sort of put you into a couple years of tunnel vision and I don't feel like I've been the best friend I can-- it's all a work in progress.

Making time to hang out with friends is... hard but totally necessary. The best thing I did last summer was take a 3 day trip with my cousins (who are my best friends and each also have 2 small kids) to Vegas. We slept well, ate well, saw Rock of Ages (so fun!) and laid around the grown-ups only pool sipping adult beverages. It was amazing and we plan to make it an annual thing. Recharging seems like it's no big deal and can slip down in priority, but when you have so many demands on you day in and day out, it's really important to take time away to just be silly with your best girls.

Herself

I never give myself enough credit for... keeping it all together. People always say to me "I don't know how you do it"- and some days, I really don't either. And honestly, I usually brush this comment off. But when I step back and really look at my full time job, kids, husband, dog, family, home and everything else that comes with all of that-- it's a lot and somehow this ship stays afloat!

In this moment, my life feels... like a very pleasant surprise. I never would have guessed a few years ago that I would be where I am today. And at this very, exact moment, it feels like a happy mess: two boys are playing tag in the living room, the dog is under my feet searching for snacks, my husband is telling me about his day (while I say for the 354th time that I am trying to focus on what I'm writing) and I am sitting here sipping a cup of coffee and just taking some deep breaths while it all unfolds around me :)

It's everyday moms like Kate that remind me that my dreams of doing more shouldn't be pushed aside just because I'm a mom with a somewhat full-plate.  Keep those dreams alive and find time for the things that matter.