Guilty

I've said this before and I'll say it again, I love being in my thirties. Maybe it's because I'm a recovering fat kid or maybe it's because I feel like I haven't reached my peak yet. Whatever it is I'm really loving this age. However, what comes with this age is a lot more life challenges. This whole adulting thing can be exhausting and un-expected. So while I am loving 35, I'm feeling super guilty for being happy at this age when some around me are not.

It's hard to articulate the shit that goes down when you get older. No one ever wants to admit  to things like divorces, miscarriages, depression and other life issues. They're not fun, they are really scary, but reality is that it happens. Sadly, what comes with growing older is being surrounded by stories like these and not knowing what causes them or how they can be avoided. When I hear these type of stories the first thing I ask myself is, "Was there a sign?".  While I'm not experiencing this first hand, mentally I'm trying to cope with this not for myself, but as sympathy for my friends.

2016 for us has been no walk in the park. Unfortunately we were impacted by work layoffs, not once, but twice this year which always bring stress into a family dynamic. We were lucky to bounce right back from it without feeling too phased, but this issue seems so small compared to others that can cause more damage. I'm still super content and feel good about the positive things happening in my life, but in my gut I'm feeling effects from the things friends and family are going through right now.

It's hard to tell someone, "I know how you feel" because truthfully I have no clue and I can't be that person that tries to compare my issues with something much greater. But, what I can do is listen. I'm not the best at advice and end up rambling nonsense just so it feels like it offers value. But listening I'm good at and listening I'll do.

So my kind reminder to everyone. If a loved one is going through personal challenges, listen. Have empathy and don't feel like you have to know all the answers. Sometimes listening is more valuable than anything else. If you're like me and feel guilty for things going great right now, appreciate those things. Embrace them. I'd like to think that feeling guilty is somewhat of a good thing because it's awareness that what you have is good and knowledge that things can change at any moment.