Trying To Make A Dollar Out of 16 Cents

Call me a cruel mom or call me responsible, but I'm putting my kid to work. Liam is 4 years old and while he sometimes plays the, "I can't do it" card, I know damn well that my kid is way more independent than he likes us knowing. Enough so that I'm giving Liam more responsibility and with more responsibility is a greater chance for reward. While Liam has always picked up here and there, or cleaned up when he made a big mess, we were never strict in applying the rule. Well that's all changing. One because my kid is way more than capable to do chores around the house and two because I can use it as a way to teach him the perk of earning his own money. Having his own money means I don't have to deal with the break down at Target when he wants to buy something AND it also means automatic silence when he does want something, but doesn't have enough money to buy it. I see it as a win/win.

Now we don't have him doing elaborate things, but enough that it makes a dent on my list. Simple things like making your bed, loading the dish washer, clearing your plate after eating, putting away folded clothes, etc are all things that are re-occurring. The repetitiveness of each chore we give him will hopefully develop into a habit that I won't need to nag him anymore about doing what's on his list. I have to admit that sometimes it actually takes longer to get him to do his chores (ie: making his bed requires a good 10 minutes), but it's not just about getting it done, it's about learning core values. 

The incentive of it all though is obviously the allowance. Each day that he does his chores he gets $1 and yes if he misses one of his chores he gets less. While there are times where I've been known to not stick to my threats, an allowance helps me keep my word and make him accountable. He sees his progress every week and is motivated knowing that he needs to money to buy a toy or book he saw at the store. 

So while it would take me 2 mins to do his bed or 1 min to clear his plate, it's not about efficiency. It's a learning experience. While he's learning responsibility, I'm learning to let go of control to just take over. So this whole chore thing is an experience for both of us that I'm hoping will help us in the long run.

A Dying Act

Over the summer I remember sitting in traffic with my family listening to an NPR story about the elimination of cursive writing in grade schools. The conversation was between a journalist and a teacher in Alabama talking about how the use of cursive writing was dying and that there was no longer a need for it with this generation (or future generations) of kids. It made me sad. Really sad actually, and then my mind drifted to when I was in 1st grade writing 100 lines of "I will not talk in class" on the chalk board as punishment for doing so. All in cursive writing of course. I thought, "Damn, my kid will never experience that kind of cruel discipline."

It got me thinking about how skills that used to be a foundation of how we do things now are slowly going extinct and much like what you learn in the Lorax, it's up to US (yes you too) to keep those things alive. 

I'm a huge fan of the United Postal Service! While going to the actual post office may sometimes be un-pleasant, I've always seen mail as a sort of surprise and delight. As an adult mail is never fun. Between bills (if you still get paper bills), solicitations and the random pieces of mail for the previous tenant, nothing about it is ever really fun. However, getting mail out of the blue for personal reasons is a pleasant surprise. Hence, "surprise and delight". 

But there's more to it.

While a small note in the mail may not seem like a big thing, that's where some people have it wrong. It's a huge thing. In our world today it's so easy for us to shoot a text to someone when you want to say "hey" or "thanks". That dialogue can happen in the matter of seconds. Sending something in the mail though takes some thought and effort that really shows someone why it's meaningful. It's first the thought of sending a handwritten note to someone, but then it's the steps of buying a card, thinking about what to write (and we're talking a lot of thought cause it's straight up final draft when inks on paper), actually carefully writing it out, getting stamps and physically dropping it off to get it mailed. It's a lot right? A lot that goes into one small something, but that small something speaks volumes to the recipient.  

I honestly can't remember when I fell in love with the art of writing letters. Maybe in middle school when I would write 100 notes a day and pass them in class, but as a parent now I realize that my kid may never grow up appreciating or truly understanding the art of writing letters unless I show him. So I decided that this year is the year to begin ingraining it in his head. He's an early stage writer whose got his alphabets down and spells simple words, but it's just enough to get him started. While his version of "letters" may not be more than him drawing hearts and his name, I'm trying to teach Liam that your words don't have to mean much, but that the act itself can speak louder.

So sure, it's way easier to lean on technology these days to tell someone you're thinking about them, but sometimes you need to continue practicing less relevant skills (like cursive writing) to keep that form of art alive!

The Company Women Should Keep

Growing up friends were my family. Everyone at some point in their life says that and for me it rings true. There have been times in my life where my friends were the ones who were there for me when I didn't have family close by. In some ways I give my friends a lot of credit for who I am today. I know it's a bold statement, but think about it this way. Your friends introduce you to many things you haven't been exposed to and if you end up loving that thing to the point it becomes a hobby, career or interest, wouldn't you give your friend credit for it? See, friends are pretty significant.

Now that I'm in my mid-thirties and have gone through a lot of adulting, I'm realizing that having different buckets of friends provide a lot of value. Sure there are a lot of people who combine their groups of friends like a mixed bag of bulk candy, but sometimes having your friends separated brings a whole lot of perspective into your life. So, as someone who values my groups of friends, here are a few I think everyone woman should have in her life!

Common interest friends: Blogging has given me an opportunity to meet so many wonderful friends and ones who have stuck by me even throughout my hiatus. Not only that but beyond blogging we have so many other things in common like our kids ages (hence the picture of Liam and Leyla's son Luke) love for food or fashion, that these friendships have evolved. Having friends who share the same passion for a hobby or interests are even more important when your closest circle of friends don't share the same love for those things. 

Couple friends: "Couple friends" are the best to keep around to keep your relationship in tact. While I love date nights, sometimes having couple date nights are better because there is only so much talk you can do with your spouse that you haven't already covered throughout the week. Especially if you've been together for a long time, sometimes you need to go on double dates to shake things up a bit. Couple friends are also those that will take every life stage around the same time you do like marriage, kids, buying a house, etc. Sometimes it's just nice to have friends that are at your pace.

Friends for yourself: Every woman needs friends that aren't tied to her significant other. It's true. While you obviously want your friends to get along with your partner, you need a friend that is just your friend. These friends are the ones that will give you perspective and someone you can confide in without feeling guilty that they may have loyalty to your partner. And if it's a single girlfriend, even better. They'll give you the 411 on the dating front and may even let you help them find their next Bumble date.

Childhood friends: It may be months or years since you've last seen each other, but you know that with one call you'll pick up right where you've left off. These are the people that you've rebelled with, hit puberty with, drank your first beer or smoked your first joint with - let's just say a whole bunch of epic shit you can never forget. While you may have less things in common now that you're older, there's no one else who can ground you more than the people who helped influence who you are today.

Work friends: These are the people that see you the most throughout the week. Aside from your legit family, these are people who will see the the many sides of who you are. You'll buttheads with them, get drunk with them, laugh your ass off at any given time, and on un-expected emotional days they may even see you cry. Just like real family, sometimes you don't get to choose who they are, but they're the best people to keep you going throughout the day.

Neighbors: When my neighbor texted me the other day to say I had a package in the mailbox, the first thing I thought to myself was, "Man, I love having neighbor friends." These people will have your back when you're not looking. No really. When Liam is playing too close to the street and I'm occupied doing something else, our neighbor will tell him what's up. Having people live so close to you are the best people to make your house feel like a real home.

Last but not least, Mom friends: Ladies, being a mom is tough and while I love my husband, sometimes the only other people that get my breed of crazy is other moms. My mom friends help me feel less guilty about what I'm not doing as a mom and reassure me that I'm doing ok. Even on those days where I feel like I've failed, these ladies lift me up, buy me a glass of wine and tell me my kid will be alright. It's a different kind of sisterhood I didn't expect to find when Liam started daycare or school, but one that I've welcomed with open arms. Every mom needs mom friends to empower you and tell you that you're a great mom, especially on those days when you don't feel like it.

rooted center

Before Thanksgiving I attended the most amazing event at the Rooted Center and I can't stop talking about it to all my friends.  Never have I been to a place or event where you're asked to remove your masks and just be true to yourself.  This therapeutic event was unique, memorable and one that I encourage others to experience especially during those moments of discomfort in your life.

u.s. apothecary

Welcome to the Southport neighborhood U.S. Apothecary.  If you've ever found yourself meandering more in the home goods section of Anthropology, then you'll want to listen here.  This little boutique shop recently opened on Southport Avenue and I've welcomed it with wide open arms (and wallet).

cafe orchid

To say that I like Turkish food is a bit of an understatement.  I LURVE Turkish food! It definitely is a cuisine that I never seem to tire and even with many of my attempts in trying to recreate the butter rice dish I always fall short.  Luckily for us though, good Turkish cuisine is around the corner at one of our go to restaurants, Cafe Orchid.

falling in love again

When we moved to Chicago it was love at first sight.  I've lived in many cities and to this day, my heart still skips a beat when I get a breathtaking view of the skyline.  However, it has reached a point where sometimes I take for granted the city's beauty.  Luckily, having a toddler who has so much to experience, is like having a little tourist and over the weekend we introduced him to Chicago architecture.

lately

Lately I've been....

10 movies that will make you fall in love with chicago

Ah sweet home Chicago!  Although I'm not a native Chicago resident, I call this home and still get those warm fuzzies every time I get a great view of the skyline.  I always try to explain how amazing this city is to friends who have never been, but it's hard to put the entire experience into words.  So instead, I leave it to the movies.  Ironically, a handful of my all time favorite movies are set in this city and I guarantee that watching one (or all) will make you want to plan a trip to this great city stat!

teddy bear picnic at emerald city theater company

Last weekend we had the pleasure of attending a Teddy Bear Picnic at the Emerald City Theater Company for a two-year-old's birthday party.  We drive by this place weekly and I automatically assumed that it was out of Liam's age range, but alas I was mistaken and we participated in a fantastic morning of adventures with a family bears who welcomed us to their picnic.

suburbia

I recently wrote a guest post for Crane USA  and I explained how having one child is perfect for our small, but mighty, family.  In that same post, I briefly eluded to my small fear of suburban  living.  It's interesting that when people have kids, the automatic thought is you need to "settle down" and move to the suburbs.  Yes, that tends to happen more often than not for many reasons, cost and school being the most common, but it's not the only option.  Living in the city is scary, even when you're single, but there are reasons why we want to raise a child in the city - probably the exact reasons why people want to move to the suburbs, but for us - it just works.

amy's candy bar

A few weeks ago I stumbled upon this article from DNA Chicago on my Facebook news feed featuring a mouth watering picture of a candy bar that made my stomach churn with excitement.  The article profiled local shop Amy's Candy Bar and a signature item  that is called the "OMG Bar" that included salted caramel, chocolate ganache and hazelnut praline all covered in dark chocolate.  After I read the article I bolted to the candy shop the next day to purchase a few bars...and  a few more unexpected sweet treats.

magalie naturals

As someone who used to participate in a lot of client entertaining, it's hard to host an event that is unique.  Nice lunches and dinners are always welcomed, but doing something like cooking classes, customizing shoes or having a jeans party is much more memorable and different.  Well last week I had the pleasure of participating in a class that was just that - something new and different. 

life (layhf) | fit foot

Finding time to squeeze in any sort of pampering or beauty maintenance is tough.  Between family, work, and other obligations sadly my routine "well-being" care complete with yoga, mani/pedis, massages and yes even the dreaded waxing have taken a back seat.  When I have a free hour to myself sometimes I would rather be gabbing with a girlfriend over a few glasses of wine or, sadly enough, cleaning the bathrooms.  While time is precious, the cost of said maintenance is more of a luxury than it is a necessity and these days, I'm all about necessities.  However, if you're open minded, willing to explore different areas of the city and have a spare hour you might just find the best experience at Fit Foot.

Hidden in a row of shops on Fullerton is this wonderful gem with a one-hour massage special that re-boots my zen and makes me feel pampered at a very reasonable price.  When I say reasonable, I'm talking $28!!!

While it may not be your typical "spa" experience, this place gives the best massage and believe me those small but mighty masseuses pack a powerful punch.  So if you decide to go, which I hope you do, here are a few things to expect:

• You are in a room with other people who are getting massages, but the dark light and extremely silent atmosphere helps you forget that you're in a room with strangers.
• Expect a full body massage with your clothes ON - yup no nudity here, so wear tight fitting clothes to ensure the excess fabric doesn't get in the way of your relaxation.
• If you don't like deep tissue massages, give them a heads up.  These folks mean business and I'm talking use of elbows to clear out those knots, so speak up if you want light pressure.

Fair warning - this place is addicting.  So much that you'll find yourself frequenting this place as often as possible.

life (lahyf) | southport corridor

It's been over a month since we moved into our new home and while our place is still a work in progress, our neighborhood is truly un-matched.  We live in Southport Corridor which is a strip of the Central Lakeview neighborhood and still considered part of the "city", but has a unique suburban-like feel.  For every 5 adults walking down the street at least 3 are trotting along with children, if not pregnant, and I feel right at home pushing little Liam along in his Radio Flyer Tricycle.

Southport Corridor is the kind of neighborhood where you get the best of both worlds.  You have a ton of amazing restaurants to choose from that are super kid friendly, buzz worthy coffee shops, as well as bakeries, plus a unique combination of one-off boutiques and larger retail with stores.  But what I love the most about this neighborhood is that although you're literally blocks away from Wrigley Field, and no more than 5 miles away from city center, there is so much to do within a 1 mile radius that you never feel like you have to go very far.  Everything I need is right outside my door like the teeny tiny taco joint Cafe Tola that has killer empanadas....

Or Julius Meinl the amazing coffee franchise from Austria we experienced repeatedly while we were in Vienna...

Or the Music Box theater that offers an eclectic mix of old classics and newly released indies....

And mainstream shops that you can experience at any mall like Anthropologie, Lululemon, Athleta, Free People, Benefit and Gap...

But also, unique quirky shops like Candyality which is every kids' dream.

Throughout the main street you'll also find installations of art such as this bench...

And on Thursdays the Low Line Thursday evening Farmer's Market makes it easy to support the local farmers.

All in all - this neighborhood has it all and not once, despite the plumbing issues, oven issues, and hardwood floor issues did we question whether or not moving was the right choice because we are right where we should be for this moment in life.

life (layhf) | this week's little things

When I moved to Chicago almost 6 years ago I was introduced to this wonderful condiment known as Giardinara.  This did not exist on the west coast.  How did I live my first 26 years of life not knowing this existed?  This week I indulged in my favorite condiment and for a brief moment it made me appreciate our move to Chicago that much more, because if we hadn't, I would have never known a life with this perfect condiment. :)

|What are your little things? Share pictures of the little things that made your week a bit better using #thisweekslittlethings & you will be featured in next week's this week's little things blog post!|

food (food) | kingsbury street cafe

As a parent there are a few things you look for in a restaurant you plan on taking your child to:

1. Space.  Whether your child still needs to be in a stroller or has upgraded to a high chair you need space between each table.  No one likes a place where you have to suck it all in to get by.
2. Loud chatter. Even if your baby is as silent as can be you want a loud environment either to put your baby to sleep OR to let your baby's crying fall in line with the rest of the background noise.
3. Good food.  This is clearly for you.  Just because you need a kid friendly place, it doesn't mean you should sacrifice the quality of food.  While the other 2 are important, this is the make it or break piece (at least it is for me).

So if you ask me what place has all three of these things?  Kingsbury Street Cafe.

Now yes, it is nestled neatly next to a strip club, but everything else makes up for it.  This has become my #1 place to meet friends for brunch when I know I'm taking Liam.  Not only can you make a reservation in advance (yes, even for small groups), but they provide all of the three things I outlined above.  In addition, a "plus" for me is that whenever I make a reservation and note that I need a high chair, they have a place setting for him with a plastic to go cup of water and kid utensils.  I haven't even mentioned the food.

While Kingsbury Street Cafe offers these great things that make it easy for kids, the best part is their food. The first thing you recognize when you walk in the door are these picture perfect baked goods and pastries.  They welcome you and automatically know that the place is going to be good.  Drinks are top notch with a great variety of alcoholic drinks and coffee, but the food is truly icing on the cake.  Deviled eggs with crispy chorizo, salmon hash with mashed tater tots, an amazing chillaquille special, fluffy pancakes...the list goes on and yes, we have tried all these things.

I can't say enough great things about this place.  Not once have I had a bad experience and I've been there a hand full of times - you can even check my OpenTable history - which is why I will continue to go back to Kingsbury Street Cafe.

Don't forget to enter my UrbanSitter $50 giftcard giveaway!

food (food) | bellyq

Another birthday whizzed by and now that I'm settling into my early thirties the thrill of late night drinking binges or ranging dance parties just doesn't have the same "fun" factor that it did in my twenties.  Especially now that I'm a mom I've enjoyed several late nights out with two too many glasses of wine, but the reality of waking up early in the morning with a hangover to take care of Liam sometimes isn't worth it.  It's more obvious now that the only decent way to celebrate a birthday is to enjoy a really (really) good meal - so that's what we did.

When Chef Bill Kim's third restaurant bellyQ opened up in the West Loop I was ecstatic that he finally had a place that I didn't have to drive 15 minutes to get to.  As a fan of Urban Belly and Belly Shack, I knew that bellyQ wouldn't disappoint.  Having scrambled last minute to make a reservation and book a sitter on a Saturday night, I was fearful that there wouldn't be good times available but to my surprise a reservation 2 weeks out gave me a perfect seating of 7:45pm.

The vibe in the restaurant is so unlike any of the Kim's other restaurants, trendy, sceney and a little intimidating, but very cool.  As a parent I loved that there was space to get around each of the tables and we even noticed a few people that had infants with them.  We were pleasantly surprised that such a place is so accommodating to infants, equipped with high chairs and all.

As soon as we sat down, I dove straight for the drink menu (obviously I had priorities).  I love that their signature drinks were unique, but not overpowering with sugary syrups and what I loved even more is that there was a page entirely dedicated to cold un-filtered sake.  In fact the place doesn't serve hot sake, so there was even more reason to love this place.  I decided to order the Red Lotus and as someone who hates signature drinks, this one has to take the cake.  It's clean, crisp, and is the perfect drink to clear a palette.

The menu is designed to share everything and having a husband that likes to eat it's tough to do that, but the portions were big enough that he was willing to let me snag some bites off his plate.  We ordered the Thai Style Fried Chicken, Kimchee and  Spinach with Chinese Sausage to start.  Both were a perfect taste of what was to come.  The chicken was boneless with a nice balance of sweet and spicy, while the Spinach had such deliciously intense flavors because of the coconut milk.

For our entrees we had the Tea Smoked Duck Breast and the BellyQ Beef.  Both dishes were massive and full of flavor.  With duck I'm used to having to dig for good hunks of meat, but this dish had a big portion of boneless breast and was served with steamed buns as well as a spicy hoisin bbq sauce.  I'm  used to having this dish at a traditional chinese restaurant and let me tell you, this version gives the others a run for their money.  The BellyQ beef was served with a huge portion of rice and vegetables, and if you like Korean Bulgogi, you're sure to like this.

As if we weren't full enough no birthday dinner is complete without dessert.  We shared the Vietnamese doughnuts with homemade soft serve and this was the best way to end the meal.  The huckleberry jam balances perfectly with sweetness of the doughnuts and it was the best way to end the meal.  Well that and a glass of beer. :)

Either way the meal and experience was one that I would want to re-live over (and over).  As I imagined, bellyQ didn't disappoint and at the rate Chef Kim is opening restaurant, I can only hope he has a South Loop location in the works.

ba·by (ba-be) | goldfish swim school

As Liam gets older I look forward to all of the amazing milestones that he reaches and new activities he's able to participate in.  Early on we decided that Liam would take swimming lessons right at the 6 month mark and this was one activity that Matt was ecstatic about participating in.  All the other classes with singing, dancing and rhymes just wasn't his cup of tea.

I started researching various swim schools in the area right before Liam turned 6 months and I just couldn't get over the fact that half of the places out there are so expensive.  I knew that I would have to shell over a couple of hundred dollars for a swim course that only lasted a few weeks and it just didn't settle well.  If I'm willing to pay X, Y and Z on these types of activities at 7 months old, what more when he's 7 years old?  

Luckily it was brought to my attention that Goldfish Swim opened up in Roscoe Village because compared to some of the other schools out there, this was on the more cost effective end.  For $85 a month, the program runs like a "gym membership" - it's an on-going 30 minute class that meets once a week with a fantastic facility that caters to little infant swimmers.  The changing area is extremely spacious and has multiple changing pads equipped with extra diapers just in case.   On top of that, the water is a consistent 90 degrees - making it extremely compelling to visit the school on cold 30 degree snowy days like today.

The infant class isn't designed to teach technique, but more so to get your baby acclimated to the water.  Despite the fact that some babies love their baths, the pool is a completely different situation, but luckily it didn't affect Liam.  He loved the planned activities of chasing the giant rubber ducky, staring at himself in a mirror to work on his floating techniques and practicing his balance technique as he sat up on a floating mat.  Liam easily could have stayed in the pool for much longer, but sadly the class had to end. 

I have to say that I was a little skeptical about how the class is structured, but after our second class I had a better feeling for Goldfish Swim's offerings.  Although it's a little distracting to have 5 other swim classes going on simultaneously, the class serves it's purpose for introducing infants to the water.  I would just recommend that babies that get easily stimulated possibly find a time to take the class when the pool isn't full.  It's tough enough as it is to introduce your baby to water, but to do it when a ton of other kids are in the pool can be a little overwhelming.

Overall, we really like the Goldfish Swim School.  For the services that the school offers and wonderful facility, it's a great way to introduce your little one to swimming.  Luckily Goldfish Swim is located across the US and offers classes to various age groups. Visit their site to find a location near you.

Thank you to the wonderful team at Goldfish Swim School for giving me an opportunity check out a few classes and enjoy the great Roscoe Village facility.  Welcome to the neighborhood!

life (lahyf) | dose market

Ever dream of an indoor market that gives you just a taste of the many great vendors and small businesses in your area?  Well that's what Dose Market offers here in Chicago.  This monthly market held in the River East Art Center brings together some of the best boutiques, services, artists, designers, restaurateurs and much more, under one roof.  It's a little less than a year young and I had been dying to go, but sadly up until this past weekend it never worked with my schedule.

This past weekend I finally got to check it out with blogger friends Johanna, Ashleigh, Jen and Zoe.  We wiggled our way from vendor to vendor, checking out everything from coconut lavender cream pie at Bang Bang Pies to designer goods from Luxury Garage.

There were tons of people within each aisle which made it a little difficult to maneuver at times, but the quality of vendors that participated made the cluster of people more manageable.  The vendors vary from month to month, but you can always expect: something delicious to eat, an item you wish you could add to your closet, a service you didn't know existed and a little random trinket that might change your life.

After walking around and checking out each vendor, we all couldn't resist the Cheese Dream guys who were making grilled cheese sandwiches to order.  They had a couple variations of grilled cheeses available, which made it hard to decide which one to order, but how could I resist anything with bacon?  So I went for the Beastie that was absolutely delicious and hit the spot.

If you've been wanting to check out Dose Market, I recommend going.  Just be prepared for a crowd, semi-long food lines, but an overall good time.